The President's Song

Here's a parody by Phil Alexander based on "The Major-General's Song" from "The Pirates of Penzance" by Gilbert and Sullivan. Here's a link to a MIDI file so you can hear the tune while you sing it to yourself.

PRESIDENT:
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist
A blinkered, blind and narrow-minded dumb-ass revelationist
I find it hard distinguishing religious from political
And so I make decisions that are highly hypocritical

I try and change the law to save the life of someone comatose
While ordering a war and killing anyone who come too close
The latest body count was twenty-thousand-plus civilians
But I've got policies that could cause carnage by the millions

ALL:
But he's got policies that could cause carnage by the millions
But he's got policies that could cause carnage by the millions
But he's got policies that could cause carnage by the millions

PRESIDENT:
I know the world was made for us, and has been since it first begun
It says so there in Genesis, and God knows I'm a Christ-ee-yun
In short, in matters biblical, a congregagginationist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

ALL:
In short, in matters biblical, a congregagginationist
He is the very model of a bible-bound creationist

PRESIDENT:
My country's use of gasoline is profligate and decadent
It's harming our economy and the whole world's environment
Global warming morons warn of crises so hysteric and
It makes me thank the Lord that I was born to be American

Like anyone in power who wants to show their adherence
I pick and choose the bits I use from both Old and New Testaments
The Satanic secular types show how much they fear me
When I announce that evolution's no more than a theory

ALL:
When he announces evolution's no more than a theory
When he announces evolution's no more than a theory
When he announces evolution's no more than a theory

PRESIDENT:
Then I can draft a scary bill that's more than taking liberties
But arguing impugns your patriotic sensitivities
In short, in matters patriotic, criminal or terrorist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

ALL:
In short, in matters patriotic, criminal or terrorist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

PRESIDENT:
In fact, when I know what is meant by true religious parity
When I don't think the West is under threat from secularity
When my lack of brain-power's not undermined by literacy
And when my foreign policy's less gunboat, more diplomacy
When I have learnt the difference 'tween sandwiches and sand wedges
When I can use with confidence the whole damn English lang-u-wedge
In short, when I can state a statement oh, so very statedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly

ALL:
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly

PRESIDENT:
I know there ain't much knowledge that's contained within my cranium
I went to see the Wizard, but he can't give me a brainium
But still, in things political or educa-ca-cationist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

ALL:
But still, in things political or educa-ca-cationist
He is the very model of a bible-bound creationist